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Saturday, August 25, 2007
Reasons to Cry

I have been asked repeatedly to get my butt in gear and blog again on Prattletale. I know, I know I let it go by the wayside as life completely encompassed me, but I shall try to do better.

Now that that's out of the way, yesterday was Jesselyn's birthday. She is officially a teenager. She's beautiful, and everything I could ever ask for in a daughter. I am so happy God gave me her.

I cried yesterday in school--twice.

The first time I was in the hallway discussing something with another 4th grade teacher (btw, I changed grades this year--for those of you who didn't know).  A third grade teacher came up to me and said "Mrs. D., today I told my students that they had 3 wishes. If they could have any three wishes in the world what would they be, and one student wrote "I wish I could have Mrs. D for my teacher every year forever."  This was one of my second graders that I had in my class last year.

The third grade teacher then said, "I hope she feels the same way about me at the end of this year." I couldn't help but think "dream on." Heh, but yes, I cried. How could I not?

I have a Special Ed. boy in my class. He's probably only included for about 10-15 minutes a day, but I've worked with him doing some activities a couple of times. I also stop and pick him up from the Special Ed. room when we go to lunch so he can walk with our class.

On Friday, I stopped to pick him up at lunchtime. He got into his place in line then paused and ran over and gave me a hug.  I told his Special Ed. teacher later that day. Her mouth dropped open and she said "Jenny, he's never hugged a teacher before, he must know you really care."  I cried again.

I enjoyed my short get-a-way in California. I bought my kids cool trinkets from some beach vendors. We walked and frolicked along the Huntington and Newport beaches. We ate at Ruby’s on the pier (a must if one is in the vicinity) and watched the sunset from the beach.

We chortled at a street preacher on the Huntington Beach boardwalk who had quite a large crowd gathered around him. He was doing his religious theatrics complete with a 6 and a half foot mechanical ape with red eyes. His point was evolution, and he used the ape for hands-on visual damnation. It was great. The glowing red eyes were a nice added effect.

We went out on the ocean and saw some gray whales migrating north to Alaska. They were an awesome sight. The drivers of speed boats were being assholes and driving over the top of the whales and scaring them. The captain of our vessel warned them and then he called the powers that be and reported them.

We also spent time with dolphins and sea lions. The dolphins glowed white-blue just under the surface of the ocean until they jumped. The ocean has some of the finest nature shows I have ever seen; one just needs to stop and smell the roses per se. It’s worth it.

Upon returning home, I have spent time helping my mom. As some of you may know, she had hip replacement surgery a week ago Monday. My mom is a runner and she had completely worn away her left hip. It has been an emotionally difficult thing for my mom to accept as she is ‘only 54,’ not to mention her right one will need replacing as well as soon as possible. I had been with my mom at the hospital every day after work for a few hours, and she came home last Thursday. I realized that in order to help my mom in the upcoming week (which is incidentally our Spring Break) I needed to help myself first, hence my 3 day reprieve.

Well in the chaos of getting mom home and settled my parent’s 5 month old puppy had gotten out of her pen a couple of times. I’m sure she was bored and went wandering. During one of her wanderings she apparently came across some rat poisoning. Many people store rat poisoning in their garage. My parents also have it, but when they got their puppy they put it high on a shelf in their garage. My grandma has some in her garage as do some neighbors. It’s not certain where she found it, but she dragged the small box home and was found chewing it on the lawn.

They put in a call at that time to their Vet. They were advised to give the puppy water to drink to dilute any poison she may have swallowed and to just ‘watch’ her carefully. The timing was horrible as dad was doing his best to help mom—we all were. They noticed that the puppy wasn’t acting as lively as she normally does Monday night. Early Tuesday morning calls were made to every Veterinarian in the area as her normal Vet was out of town. I even made calls to nearby cities to no avail. Every last one of them claimed they were “full” and couldn’t see the dog. I was livid. This was an obvious emergency as she started bleeding out of her nose. They did have an after hour clinic that didn’t open until 5 pm. My mom begged each Vet to see her puppy. It was so frustrating.

I held this sweet, little puppy on and off throughout the morning and into the afternoon. It was torture to watch her suffer. My heart hurt. She was listless and she labored to even breathe. I rubbed her head and whispered words of comfort to her. I told her that I loved her and that I was so sorry she was hurting.

My sister showed up with her kids to help with the puppy. This little puppy tried to wag her tail for the kids. She loved the kids.

Around 4 in the afternoon her regular Vet called. He had just arrived back in town and he said to bring her in. My parents drove her to see him. The Vet gave her 2 shots to help her, told my dad to watch her closely, and to bring her back in the morning.

My parents drove their puppy the short distance back home. They pulled into their driveway and were holding her between them. She put her little head on each of my parent’s arms. My dad leaned down and kissed the top of her fuzzy head and told her that he loved her. She gave a big sigh and she died. Her little body couldn’t handle the suffering any longer and she succumbed.

Perhaps it was too late for her by the time she was seen by the Vet. We’ll never know if a few hours difference could have saved her. I was mad and I’m still mad that they have after hours emergency care, but apparently not a ‘during’ hours one. That just seems so senseless.

My relaxing weekend turned into a weekday of sorrow. My feelings are all jumbled. I felt so helpless.

We brushed her little body and wrapped her in her favorite towel. We buried her with dignity and love. She will be sorely missed.

I know I know. Life happens. Deal with it.

Incident No. 1

That being said the night before Valentine's Day, I was in a store with a friend of mine. We were doing some last minute goodie buying. We were in the Valentine aisle and there were these 2 boy next to us behaving rather badly.  They were smacking each other and knocking into the shelves. It was when they knocked into an elderly man that I said to them "Hey settle down,"  then I turned back towards my friend.  I didn't yell. I didn't say "Hey stop acting like little shits."  All I said was "Hey settle down." 

The older one of the two turned to me and said, "You shut your mouth."

I whipped myself back around and looked at this future juvenile delinquent and I said very slowly "Oh. I. Don't. Think. So." 

I didn't touch him (I wanted to slap his face), but I did flag down an employee of the store and informed her what had happened. She told the boys to follow her over to the dressing rooms --I followed -- where she called a manager.  I was telling the manager all that had happened and informed her that these boys obviously needed adult supervision.  She had the names of the parents paged throughout the store to come to the dressing rooms. 

We watched the boys turn on each other--accusing each other for the hot water they were now in.  The manager said "looks like they're blaming each other."  I responded "Yeah, with any luck they'll beat the shit out of each other when they get home."  We laughed.

An older sister of the boys came to the dressing rooms to see what was going on.  She motioned for them to follow her The manager told the girl that her parents needed to come claim the boys.  A few minutes later a man rolled up on one of those complimentary motorized chairs, and a woman followed him pushing a cart. 

I walked up to the man and began to tell him what had happened. I stressed how they had knocked into an elderly man---at this point the older boy interrupted me and yelled "It was an accident" to which I said "if you had been acting appropriately it wouldn't have happened.

When I told their father what his 'sweet' son had said to me the father raised his voice and said "Did you say that to his lady?"  The son quietly said "Yeah."  The father demanded that his son apologize.  The brat said "sorry."  The dad said "That wasn't good enough. You didn't say it like you meant it."  The son again parroted "sorry."  The manager proceeded to talk to the father after that.

The heavy-set woman (who I assume was their mom) stood there the whole time with a blank look on her face.

During this exchange the younger boy kept looking at me nervously.  While we were walking away, my friend remarked that the younger kid had been looking at me funny.  I looked back to see him watching me.  I wondered if he was a student at my school.  I decided to look for him when I went to work the next day. So far, I haven't found him---BUT I do know him from somewhere. 

As we continued to walk away my friend stated "You know, most people would have just walked away." 

I immediately replied "Well I guess it's a good thing that I'm not most people."

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Incident No. 2

Yesterday I allowed my daughter to go to work with me. She had been bugging me since school started to let her miss a day of school and go 'help me' in my classroom.  I finally obliged. 

While we were coming home after school, we turned into the area where we live.  A car was in front of us. The roof of the car was piled with stuff.  All kinds of stuff.  We were going around a bend in the road when a WHEELBARROW CAME FLYING OFF THE ROOF OF THE CAR straight towards us.  I yelled "hang on" to my daughter, and I swerved to the right. Luckily it bounced to the left and missed us completely. 

A couple of minutes later we parked in our garage. My daughter quietly says "whoa, that was scary, mom."  I answered "Yes it was Jess, yes it was." then I went into the house to empty my bladder.

About a week ago I got a cast taken off my left arm.  I had it on for nearly 2 weeks to allow my elbow to heal.  I smacked my elbow hard causing the sack of fluid in the elbow joint to burst and ultimately become red, inflamed, and swollen.  I won't lie, it hurt like hell. 

My surgeon put a cast on my arm to keep my elbow immobile allowing a jump start on healing the damage.  I was also on some pretty strong prescription medications for the inflammation and infection.

While I know most bone breaks need to be cast from anywhere from 4 - 6 weeks to allow for healing, my 'mere' 10 days was torture for me as I continued to teach and do the things I needed to do. 

After the cast was removed, my surgeon told me that it would take another 2 months for healing and to expect swelling and discomfort.  He also warned me that if it got red or hot again (from inflammation and/or infection) to come in immediately.  I have one more follow-up appointment so he can check on the healing progress. 

I have finally admitted to myself that when he said it would take 2 more months to heal, he meant that it would take 2 more months to heal.

I have been humbled.

Well it's a new year. Last year was full of many trials and tribulations--both good and bad--for my family. It was a challenging year to say the least, and I'm glad it's over. I'm not the New Year's Resolution kind of gal, but I would like to share a poem I wrote a few years ago that seems fitting for a new beginning. Happy New Year.

Forgive and Forget

Can you forgive and forget
Leave issues behind
Let go of the wrongs
Those who were unkind
Don't hold a grudge
Get out on top
Be the bigger one
The cycle you stop

Can you forgive and forget
All the past pain
By holding on tight
The pain remains
By forgiving you will
Cleanse your soul
By forgetting you will
Reach your goal


Copyright©2000 JLCD