Friday, November 3, 2006
My Cover-up

At lunchtime in the teacher's lounge today the discussion turned to a student peeing her pants the day before during a field trip.  I mentioned how I had peed my pants when I was in 1st grade. 

My mom had dressed me in one of those 70's corduroy jumpsuits that had sewn-on ties on each side. The ties were double-knotted in front. No first grader on earth could have untied that knot.  I remember doing the potty dance while trying desperately to get that damn knot out, but to no avail.  Alas I peed my green corduroy jumpsuit. 

I knew there was no way I was going to admit to peeing my big first grader pants, so I walked over to the sink, cupped my hands under running water and doused myself, soaking my legs to cover up the urine smell and to corroborate my story.  I also used my cupped hands to put water on the floor and around the toilet.  After I was done fixing the scene, I told my teacher that the toilet had overflowed on me.  I think I was believed, thereby saving me from utter ruin,

After I disclosed this story with my fellow teachers, one responded, " Wow, you were gifted and talented even in 1st grade."