Saturday, July 22, 2006
I Suggest Anger Management

A few days ago a girlfriend of mine sent me one of those chain emails. You know the kind that say "forward this to 10 people to spread joy and happiness" type.  Anyway, I didn't click on the accompanying attachment because 1- I dislike the chain-type emails, and 2- I rarely open attachments unless I'm expecting it, so I really don't know what sort of chain mail it was. End of story, or so I thought...

I was sorting through my junk mail when I noticed an email from the son of another girlfriend of mine.  I was a bit confused as to why he was sending me an email so I opened it (this is a man I've only met once-briefly-who lives in Maryland).  He was responding to the chain mail that the first girlfriend sent, and not too kindly I might add.  I'll discuss further and in detail his email later, but here is the aforementioned work of ummm something...(names and personal contact info have been deleted for obvious reasons).

Dear (name deleted),

I want everyone to know that I respect and admire women for
all that they do. Unluckily, because Ms. (name deleted) has taken
the time to forward this to well over ten people I get to
write a nice e-mail asking ALL of you to PLEASE NEVER
FORWARD ME MESSAGES unless I request them. Unless you are
my best friend this is a typical response from me. It
happens to be one of my biggest pet peeves.

Now onto my second pet peeve how to avoid sending a message
to multiple people and distributing e-mail addresses as if
they are easy to replace and are not important to keep
private.

1) Click "Compose" in your e-mail editor
2) Use your address book, or insert addresses manually as
you usually do
3) Take ten extra seconds to highlight EVERYONE's address
and click "CTRL" + "X"
4) Take two extra seconds to click on "BCC" (it may already
be there for some editors)
5) Once your cursor is in the "BCC" field click "CTRL" +
"V" to paste EVERYONE's E-MAIL
6) Put YOUR OWN E-Mail address into the "TO" field
7) Click "SEND"
8) Expect harsh annoying replies from people who hate
forwards, but at least you are not giving their e-mail
address away to everyone else in the e-mail.

Oh yeah, I'm this way with everyone. Call me what you
want, my inbox is special and gifted but sometimes spam
like forwards get through. If you are uncertain that this
man respects women in his life you can e-mail my mother,
she has the same last name and her e-mail address is in the
TO line just like everyone else ;)

Sincerely,

(name deleted)

PS - I apologize in advance if my words seem harsh, I don't
have time to respond to any more e-mails in regard to this
chain. They will simply be deleted.

PPS - I love you mom - thanks for everything you did for me.

Well I decided to respond to this young man's email. My response is as follows:

(Name deleted),

By sending your 'harsh' email to everyone on the list that Lisa forwarded her email to, you did the exact same thing you complained about. I never even read Lisa's email (meaning I didn't open the attachment--I never do), I just deleted it, but I didn't need to read your hypocritical response to her. In fact, you could have just EMAILED HER.

My inbox is no less 'special and gifted' than yours, but mine also has super powers.

A pet peeve of mine? Assuming.

Thanks,

MRS. (Name deleted)

p.s. I think your mom is a top lady whom I don't need to call about your "respect for women." I read it for myself. It was 'reading between the lines' that I found more interesting.

p.p.s. No need to respond to THIS email. I'm over it, and I don't need an email war.

p.p.p.s. I ONLY EMAILED YOU, not everybody in the stupid "TO" line, as to not embarrass you further.

Thanks again.

My first order of concern is that if getting a stupid chain email in your inbox is your BIGGEST pet peeve, someone needs to get out more. 

Second, the email was sent to an obscure non-personal Yahoo! email address. Those are a dime a dozen and FREE! This man owns his own domain.  I'd think having a chain email sent to a personal domain email would be more upsetting. Don't you?

Third, the 'well over ten people' line, well I counted. She sent it to 11 people. That's ONE more than 10, not well over.

Fourth, instead of "ten extra seconds" to bitch here and "two extra seconds" to bitch there, just take ONE DAMN SECOND AND HIT DELETE (or ten extra-special seconds and breathe in and breathe out). There the bad angry monster is gone.

Fifth, about this 'special and gifted' inbox deal. Unless you're getting a lap dance or pedicure or some other instant gratification, an inbox is an inbox. Period. It's a computer program.

Sixth, your time is no more precious than any others, but you sure took plenty of it to bitch and moan about a silly email.  Now the time I'm spending pointing out your faux pas is thoroughly enjoyable. I know 'harsh.'

Seventh, you tried hard to disguise the soul purpose of your email which was to be blatantly rude and mean by adding the sentiments to 'mom.'  No one was fooled, really.

And lastly, couldn't you have found something better to do with your time. Hug a tree, clean up the community?  I mean spamming my inbox and signing me up for online things because you got angry at my response to your unsolicited email to ME, yeah that's mature. At the very least,  I suggest anger management. Damn skippy.