Prattletale Archives - Sunday, February 26, 2006

My son's computer teacher called last week to inform us that Wyatt is a very creative writer, and she loved his story he wrote so much she read it to all of her classes. She also stated that she took the story to his English teacher and shared it. By this time my curiosity was getting the better of me, so I asked Wyatt if I could read his story. This is his story (with a couple of fixed errors and the last names of characters taken out for privacy purposes), and while it may seem sacrilegious to some, he is only 14.

My Family Vacation

Once upon a time in a land far far away, more like just over Foremaster Ridge, there lived a man; a man by the name of Wyatt. One day Wyatt's father asked him if he would be interested in going up north to the magical land of the Lake of Salts. With intensive enthusiasm, Wyatt responded, "Yea, verily verily I say unto you, I would be most excited to go up north to the magical land of the Lake of Salts. However, I would be most pleased if thou wouldst let me inviteth my brother by the name of Daniel. I know this was meant of the sole purpose of family only, however he may not be my brother in blood, but we are one in soul."

Seeming content with his son's answer, his father responded, "if thou wouldst be pleased, then I shall make it so." I called my brother, who, at the time, was at the place where he hast desired to work. He answered my request to come with me with much rejoice. I told him that we were set to leave the fair province of the most excellent king Saint George III by 7:00 am.

We decided to set up camp in the valley of Grains & Mince, for we were weary from our many travels. During the day, I approached one of the locals and he called out unto me "hail weary traveler. What desirest thou?"

I responded in a surprised manner, for I was not used to the customs of this land. "Behold, I shall pour out the desires of my heart unto thee, and they are that I wouldst like to feast upon the #9, without pickle, if it be in your power to doeth these things." He asked me if I would like to 'biggie size' and I told him "nay, according to the foolish traditions of my fathers."

Back in the tent of my father, I patiently waited for the local to bring us the provisions which we had called for earlier that day. After what seemed hours of minutes, the local returned with our provisions and we set out again from the valley of Grains & Mince. And it came to pass that after many days of wandering in the wilderness, my brother began to murmur against the teachings of my father. And I stretched forth my hand, and set upon him the power of my fist, that he may be humbled and murmur no more against my father.

After a time, we came upon the place where no man dared settle for it was a barren land, and no creature nor plant inhabited the land. Yea and it came to pass that we believed this was the land of the devil, for again, no creature nor plant inhabited the land. Again my brother began to murmur against my father, for he was thirsty, and we had no water to quench our mighty thirst. He wished desperately that we had remained in the valley of Grains & Mince. Now when he had said these things, we heard much laughter for ahead of us, camped in the land of the devil, were many concubines. And they came unto us, and we gained many earthly delights, in so much that I cannot write of these things. And we camped with these concubines for the space of many days, even 3 years we stayed in the camp of concubines. And it came to pass that my father, remembering the purpose we had set forth from our home, called unto my brother and me, for he knew we had stayed in the camp of concubines much too long, and he knew they were possessed by the devil and that we might be possessed of the devil also.

Hearing these words, my brother became angry, for he believed that this camp was a gift from God, and that his was the real reason in which we left our houses, and our precious things, and all manner of civilization. Now my father, being a man large in stature, came down upon my brother with a fury. And the concubines threw their bodies over my brother in hopes that they might protect him from the fury of my father. Yea and it came to pass, that there was one concubine who was beautiful, even more beautiful than the rest. And she set my heart aflame, for I loved her, insomuch that my soul burned for her with the fiery intensity of a thousand suns. And she came unto my father and calmed him and told him that the time has come for us to leave the camp of concubines. Now she proclaimed that an angel had come to her in a vision and told her that she was to accompany us for the rest of our journey. Hearing these words, I had great joy in my heart. I asked her for her name and she told us that we may call her Sierra.

Upon leaving the camp of concubines, my brother made many attempts to charm Sierra. Now when my brother had no success, he became angry and hated Sierra. And it came to pass that after we had been stranded in the wilderness for many days, it was at long last that my eyes beheld a most wonderful sight. Behold, we had come upon the magical land of the Lake of Salts, and it was a magical looking. And it came to pass that when we entered into the gates of the city that occupied the lake's edge, there was a man, and upon seeing the concubine that traveled with us, he yelled something in a foreign tongue that I have never heard before. And he snatched her from us, and that was the last I ever saw of her.

And now that we had come to the Lake of Salts, my brother looked around and seeing that there was nothing bug a big lake of exceeding saltiness, again became angry, insomuch that he left the land of the Lake of Salts. And my father and I traveled with him, for we were also not impressed by the lake. And it came to pass that we returned to our fair province of the most excellent king Saint George III. And this is the account of Wyatt and his Father and brother and their travels in the wilderness. Amen.

It took me a while to get over the camp of concubines, but after reading the story I asked my son who Sierra was. He informed me that it was a girl that sat next to him in computer class who asked if she could be in his story so he made her head concubine. Smooth son, real smooth.